Fashion Post! Jeans Edition

I have some stuff I want to write about soon, like why feminists are getting death threats for planning talks on college campuses, and about the fossil fuel divestment movement gaining speed, but also, I like to honor all of my interests and personalities, so today, a little post about

FASHION!!!!

I'm a big fan of the clothes, and think about le fashion a lot.  I've been an obsessive thrift store shopper, and also--at a different time in my life--spent almost $200 on a pair of jeans.  Jeans, people. I'm not proud of that fact, but there it is.

In fact, for today, let's focus in on jeans.  Here are the tenets of my jeans philosophy:

1.  Find the right pair for you and stick with it.

Having the right pair of jeans makes all the difference to how excited you are to get dressed in the morning.  The right fit/wash/style--for any body type--can totally pull a look together, yeah?  I think this is why women are always building up their collections of jeans.  Because they're in search of the holy grail of jeans, the one pair that will make getting dressed easy and fun.  But they can't find the pair, and so they assume it doesn't exist, and let a bunch of inferior interlopers crowd out their closet.

Finding le pair can take a little work, but I believe fit is possible for every woman, in every budget and shape.

2.  You only need four pairs.  Really.

That said, you don't need to have a bunch of jeans in your closet.  Like, this is ridiculous:

Once, I was complaining about bras to my buddy N., and she gave me some good advice.  You need two, maybe three bras, max:  one beige one for wearing under white clothes, and a black one for under black clothes.  If you're a teacher, get a little padding so you don't nip out in front of the young ones.  And maybe get a third for when one of the others is being washed.  I would add that you might also need a racerback style, since so many shirts are that style now and they look better without straps peeking out.

When those are worn out, ditch them, and get new ones.  But you don't need 12 bras in your underwear drawer unless you're Dita Von Teese.  And she probably doesn't even own that many bras. She's more of a bustier type.

But really, that's it.  No need for a bunch of fancy, patterned stuff.  In my house, nobody notices that anyway, if you know what I mean.  "They" would rather you weren't wearing a bra at all, if you know what I mean.

I think the same is true for jeans.  You could have a pair of distressed skinnies/boyfriends that are good for a casual look; a pair of dark-washed you can wear say on a casual day at work; a black pair; and maybe a colored pair (I have gray--daring!).  I don't really think you need much more than that, and grappling with 25 pairs of jeans that just don't fit that well can make getting dressed in the morning  a bummer.  I think it also leads to excess spending and waste.

If there's something you don't like about the jeans you own, spend some time finding the just-right pair and donate the rest.  Then don't bring in new pairs that don't do you justice.  That's my rule.  Even if it's a pair of $2 Joe's Jeans from the thrift store (a bargain!) if you don't like where they hit your ankle, you'll never be happy with them.

Bottom line:  don't settle for jeans that don't give you the Jesus-descending-from-the-Heavens feeling.

***I suppose one exception here would be if you fluctuate sizes frequently, as some of us do.  If this is true, put your bigger/smaller jeans in another closet.  If you don't go and get them after a few months, I think you have your answer about whether you'll ever wear them again.

3.  Stop washing your jeans.

I know this sounds crazy.  I used to think it was crazy.  In fact, I used to wash my jeans after every wearing because they would get baggy and not look right.  But here's where I stand now:  the right pair of jeans shouldn't bag out on you by the end of the day.  If they're falling off your hips by dinnertime, they are either the wrong size or the wrong material.

Jeans should have a little stretch and fit so that they pretty much look the same by 6pm as they did at 6am.  And you should hang them back up at the end of the day instead of washing them, unless you really trashed em out back in the manure pile.  Otherwise, spot clean.  Every once in a while, machine wash, but don't dry.  They will last tons longer, look better longer, save you time and money and aggravation on laundry, and give you a sense of which materials are more durable and flattering over time.

4.  More expensive doesn't mean better.  Though it can.

The $200 jeans I mentioned above were a revelation to me.  I tried them on in a fancy boutique and it was like the heavens opened above and rained down blessings upon mine head.  That is why I bought them.  But then, guess what?  I got home and googled the pair--make, model, and size--and they were $50 on eBay.  Maybe still a lot of money for some of us.  But if you only need 3 or 4 pairs--instead of 20--and if you don't wash them so that they last a reeeeeaaaaallllly long time, then I think you'll actually save money in the long run.

Lesson learned:  go try on as many fancy pairs of jeans as you like in your local boutique or department store, but don't buy them there.  Shoot a pic of the label or write it down, then go shop online.  But take note of the make and model and size so you get it right.

[in case you're wondering, the expensive brand is Adriano Goldschmied (AG), and I like the Stilt Cigarette style]

Here's fashionista Olivia Palermo wearing them.  Remember when she was on The City, that spin-off of The Hills?  Yeah, I watched all of BOTH of those shows.  Quit hating.

But my colored jeans come from Old Navy.  I buy the Rock Star style, in a particular size and style.  And they last just as long (cuz I don't wash them hardly ever) and look just as good.  $35.  Probably less if you go on a sale day.

The Rock Star, in a range of fruity flavors.

I believe Angie likes these, too.

I'm also a fan of the brand Just Black.  Cute stuff, great fit.  For me.

5.  Ignore the numbers, pay attention to fit.

We pay a lot of attention to numbers, as women--numbers on the scale, numbers on the tag.  But you have to put all that behind you when you get in the dressing room.  If you try on your trusty size 14 in the dressing room, and you can pull the waist band on that pair of jeans out by two inches, they are too big.  Size down.  If you try on your trusty size 2's and you can't get them on past your ankles, it's time to size up.  There is no rhyme or reason to sizing or numbers, so ignore them.  Pay attention to fit.



In conclusion:  there are ethical problems with the kind of "fast fashion" Old Navy represents, for sure--and the clothing industry is one of the most polluting on the planet.  You can find jeans in all sorts of places and with all kinds of ethics, but I think the best thing you can do for the environment is probably to buy fewer and wear them longer.  And still look SICK and FLY.

Sorry.

By the way, I hate fashion rules.  They're usually all wrong for me.  Like, I don't own one "classic button-down white shirt" which every fashion maven on the planet says you must have.  But I don't like how they look on me.  So feel free to disagree with everything here.  But I think if you want to have a streamlined, workable wardrobe, jeans are a good place to pare down your numbers, and ramp up your expectations.