The best part of waking up...

I am no morning person, but that doesn't seem to matter because the world is and so are my husband and children.  I've learned to roll out of bed, and get that worm.  But just because I'm up, doesn't mean I'm functioning at my A #1 level.

I would love for school mornings to be like the breakfast commercials of my past.  The best part of waking up, me being gently awoken by the smell of brewing coffee, my kids downstairs laughing about the snap, crackle and pop of their cereal.

Instead, my husband is yelling the time every five minutes, and drilling Luke and Clive about combing their hair. Grace  is rolling her eyes at the drama of it all.   Somebody's lost the third pair of gloves, and just as we're about to go out the door, I see Luke has beat up, holey old shoes on.

The positive discipline parent in me knows that this is not an issue, that the scroungy shoes are indeed the perfect natural consequence, but the just woke up control freak in me, is thinking, "I buy you nice shoes, where are they" and "People will think I don't properly cloth you", and you know who wins in the morning?  That control freak.

 Next thing I know, I'm asking him (with that tone), "Where are all your nice shoes?"  Which brings  the anticipated response, "I don't know".  He walks away downstairs to finish what he needs to do, and the control freak sweating, and murmuring under my breath starts searching through his closet, where I find three pairs of decent shoes...THREE PAIRS.

I stomp down the stairs and say smugly, "I found your shoes, if you feel like it, you could go up and change them."  Which he knows means, "Go up and change them."  He goes upstairs, and starts throwing things around, crying, and while control freak (me), is doling out the probiotic supplements to the other two, he screams, "I can't find my stupid shoes."

The control freak marches upstairs yelling something like, "You're almost ten, you should be able to find your own shoes."  which brings more tears, the tears start to awaken the positive discipline parent, and all that's left for me to do is apologize.

And I've learned that this is the greatest lesson of parenting.  Always say you're sorry.  When you're wrong, and I was so wrong, it's important to apologize to those you've hurt, particularly your children.  I hope my kids learn from my mistakes, and especially learn that when you make them, you accept responsibility for them, rectify them the best you can, learn from them, and move on....  At least that's what I'm counting on.