So, You "Help" Your Husband With His Business?

For years, I was a SAHM, and I endured all those awkward "What do you do?" conversations.  I even remember a time when I was explaining to a woman how I made homemade dust cloth solution, and she looked at me with pity, and said, "Oh, so you stay at home, then."  And while this kind of encounter left me unappreciated, and misunderstood, my new position as work at home mom seems to be even more confounding for other people.

When people find out that my husband is a plumber, and has a plumbing company, the conversation inevitably turns to what I do for a living, I know it's coming...  "So, you help your husband with his business?"  I know they think they're well meaning, generously giving me some credit for all I do for him.  I will only dabble in the inherent sexism of this question... why are women the "helpers", maybe I'm a freaking plumber.  I have over time learned just how to answer it.

In 2007, shortly after the birth of our third child, Josh came home from work, and informed me that he had been laid off.  I hadn't ever established a career (after college I worked a couple of odd jobs, just until our first child was born, when I made mothering my career), so we knew I probably wouldn't be bringing home the proverbial bacon. We were worried.  While Josh had established a career as a journeyman plumber in the commercial construction arena, we knew that commercial construction wasn't exactly booming, but he had a plan.  He suggested we open a small service plumbing company.  I was hesitant, but also knew that we had to somehow feed, clothe and house the three people we brought to the planet, and this seemed like a better plan than the local homeless shelter.

I threw all my energy into making our new business a success.  With help from my brother in law, I learned how to use a bookkeeping program, I went through business check lists, I made sure we had the right licenses and were registered with the correct entities, I designed a logo, ordered business cards, created a website, met with phone book companies and placed ads, I designed form letters introducing us that we sent to property management companies.  I even recall a cold winter day, where after cutting out homemade door hanger advertisements, I loaded up my 4 and 2 year old in the double stroller, and strapped my infant in a sling, and started hanging them on my neighbors' doors.

Since then, I have become our business's office manager, human resources department, book keeper, collections department, customer care representative, and 50% of our business development team, among other things.  I do all of this from the relative comfort of my home office.   The beauty of this arrangement is that I also take one day a week to volunteer in my children's classroom, or go on a field trip, I walk my kids to and from the bus stop daily, I wash and dry a load or two of laundry everyday while on the job, and occasionally don't make it into the office until 9pm with my glass of wine.  I love my job, both of them, but when someone asks me about what I do, and I tell them that my husband and I have a small plumbing company, and they say "Oh, so you help your husband with his business?"  The answer is, no.  I don't "help" my husband with his business.  I work at our business.